we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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