So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
