If that was your dad, he is hot
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
