ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I faked an abortion last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
