Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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