...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
