i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
