the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
