Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize