I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
