idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
