Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
