My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
