He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize