i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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