So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
