chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk is not a location!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
