College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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