I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
