The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
