So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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