it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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