we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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