Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
