So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
