Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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