He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
