You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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