after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
