so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
