He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
