White coat. Heels.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
