Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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