I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
