he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
