Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
