u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
