Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
