i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
