I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
