When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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