We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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