i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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