escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
