Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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