no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You may now shotgun with the bride
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
