I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
