So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize