By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm really busy with my period
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