Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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