You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
