i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
