I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
