I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
