Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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