My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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