I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
