Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
