goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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