I queefed so loud it echoed.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
