After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
