We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
