i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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